Gallery Weekend @ Center
WINDOWLICKER
Opening April 29
7-11PM
Exhibition April 30June 14, 2015
PAUL BARSCH - IVANA BASIC - GREGOIRE BLUNT - CLEMENCE DE LA TOUR DU PIN
ANNE FELLNER - NAOMI FISHER - DOROTA GAWEDA - HANNAH HEILMANN
MIRAK JAMAL - ILJA KARILAMPI - SANDRA VAKA OLSEN - SANTIAGO TACCETTI
SHAUN MOTSI - ANTOINE RENARD - MAX RUF - ANTHONY SALVADOR - YVES
SCHERER - EDWARD SHENK - EMMY SKENSVED - TORE WALLERT
WHEN I WAS 18, I WAS IN A STRANGE PLACE IN THE WORLD. I WAS HOMELESS,
PENNILESS AND WITH NO REAL AMBITION TO PULL MYSELF OUT OF THE GUTTER.
ALTHOUGH I WAS WITHOUT THE BASIC NECESSITIES OF FOOD AND SHELTER, I HAD
A STEADY SUPPLY OF DRUGS THAT WERE DISPENSED, I SUPPOSE, OUT OF
SYMPATHY BY MANY OF MY FRIENDS. I WENT TO SLEEP HUNGRY AND COLD EVERY
NIGHT, BUT NEVER SOBER. ONE EVENING, BEFORE I LEFT A PARTY TO HIT THE
STREETS TO FIND A BROOM CLOSET OR STAIRWELL TO LAY MY HEAD, I GUY I
BARELY KNEW GAVE ME A LARGE FREEZER BAG FULL OF BROWN SPIKEY PODS.
WHAT ARE THESE? ''JIMSON WEED. THE SEEDS WILL MAKE YOU TRIP. MAYBE YOU
CAN SELL THEM. I DON‘T WANT THEM.'' HE TOLD ME TO SPLIT THE POD OPEN AND
EAT HALF OF THE SEEDS IF I REALLY WANTED TO TRIP HARD. TO ME THAT MEANT
EAT THE WHOLE POD SINCE I ALWAYS FOUND 'RECOMMENDED' DOSAGES TO BE
UNSATISFYING. I CHOSE NOT TO DOSE THAT NIGHT, SINCE I WAS ALREADY TIRED
AND AFRAID I MIGHT FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE TRIP KICKED IN. I SLEPT IN A
BUILDING GUTTED BY A FIRE A FEW YEARS BEFORE AND THE FREEZING
NOVEMBER AIR WOKE ME JUST BEFORE DAWN. I GOT UP AND WALKED INTO TOWN
TO RAISE MY BODY TEMPERATURE AND AVOID HYPOTHERMIA (THIS WAS MY DAILY
MORNING RITUAL). OBVIOUSLY, 5AM IN A SMALL CITY OFFERS VERY LITTLE IN
TERMS OF RECREATION, SO I DECIDED IT WAS THE RIGHT TIME TO OPEN THE
DOOR OF PERCEPTION AND BEGAN MY DAY WITH A PSYCHEDELIC BREAKFAST. I
CHOSE THE LARGEST POD IN THE BAG, WHICH WAS ALSO THE DARKEST IN COLOR
(I WAS TOLD AFTERWARD THE MOST POTENT SEEDS ARE THE DEEPEST BROWN).
THE SEEDS WERE TERRIBLY BITTER AND MANY OF THE SHELLS GOT STUCK IN MY
TEETH. I MANAGED TO FINISH THE ENTIRE POD WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM A
PUBLIC WATER FOUNTAIN. I WATCHED A BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE FROM THE ROOF OF
AN APARTMENT BUILDING, CONSTANTLY WAITING FOR THE EFFECTS OF THE
JIMSON WEED TO TAKE EFFECT. I CAN‘T SAY HOW LONG I SAT UNTIL THE SEEDS
STARTED WORKING, BUT THE FIRST NOTICABLE SIGNS CAME IN THE FORM OF
EXTREME THIRST AND GENERAL PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT. FINDING THE FEELINGS
OF SEEMING DEHYDRATION TOO STRONG TO IGNORE, I WENT TO A NEARBY
MCDONALD‘S FOR FREE ICE WATER. IT MUST HAVE BEEN AFTER 9 BECAUSE THE
ONLY PEOPLE IN THE RESTRAUNT WERE OLD GUYS GETTING FREE REFILLS ON
SENIOR CITIZENDISCOUNTED COFFEE. I SAT IN A BOOTH IN THE BACK CORNER,
SIPPING WATER THROUGH A CRACKED STRAW, WATCHING THE THIRSTY ELDERLY
REDNECK PARADE. IT DIDN‘T TAKE LONG FOR ME TO REALIZE I WAS ENTERING
INTO A VERY HALLUCINAGENIC TRIP. THE FACT THAT I HADN‘T EATEN A REAL MEAL
IN A WEEK AND I WAS SLEEP DEPRIVED PROBABLY ADDED TO THE DRUG‘S
INTENSITY, BUT I CAN‘T IMAGINE A BIG DINNER AND A FULL 8 HOURS WOULD HAVE
MADE TOO MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE. UNLIKE THE ONSET OF AN E OR ACID TRIP, MY
MENTAL STATE WAS VERY COMFORTABLE BUT MY PHYSICAL CONDITION FELT
QUITE UNHEALTHY. THE HEAVY SENSE OF INEBRIATION WAS QUICKLY FOLLOWED
BY POWERFUL, DISORIENTING VISUALS. THOUGH THEY WEREN‘T DISTURBING,
THEY SEEMED AS CLEAR AS SUNLIGHT. BLACK CATS MILLED ABOUT THE FLOOR IN
FRONT OF ME, SO NUMEROUS I COULDN‘T EVEN SEE THE TILE. THEY APPEARED
WET AND ANGRY. THERE WAS DEEP CRIMSON BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THE
CEILING. EVERYTHING WAS TECHNICOLOR. THE SENSE OF DETACHMENT WAS
STONG, BUT IT DIDN‘T FEEL STRANGE. EACH HALLUCINATION FLOWED INTO THE
NEXT. I WAS HOLDING A VERY OLD BIBLE IN MY LAP. I COULDN‘T FIGURE OUT HOW
TO OPEN IT. SOON IT STARTED TO LEAK BLOOD, TOO. THE MORE I STRUGGLED,
THE MORE IT BLED. AS SOON AS I REALIZED MY EFFORTS 4 WERE FUTILE, THE
BOOK MATERIALIZED INTO THE AIR AROUND ME. IT DIDN‘T SEEM STRANGE TO ME.
WHEN I ANALYZED THE ROOM AGAIN IT WAS A BUSTLING, FUTURISTIC
METROPOLIS. IT APPEARED VERY LARGE AND VERY ALIEN, WITH SHINING CHROME
AND FLASHING LIGHTS EVERYWHERE. I BEGAN TO FEEL DISCOMFORT AND THE
STRONG URGE TO URINATE SIMULTANEOUSLY. I STAGGERED INTO THE BATHROOM
AND VOMITED IN THE CLOSEST URINAL, RIGHT IN FRONT OF AN AMISH MAN. NOW I
LIVE IN SOUTH CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA, SO IT‘S VERY POSSIBLE THAT HE WAS
REALLY THERE, BUT CONSIDERING MY STATE AND OTHER PEOPLE‘S ACCOUNTS OF
DATURAINDUCED VISUALS, I SUSPECT HE WAS JUST A HALLUCINATION. I DO KNOW
THAT I RELIEVED MYSELF SOMEWHERE IN THE BATHROOM AND LEFT THROUGH
THE SIDE EXIT ADJACENT TO THE LAVRATORY DOOR. THE STREET OUTSIDE WAS A
SCENE OF WWIIRAVAGED EUROPE. I DON‘T KNOW WHICH COUNTRY, BUT
EVERYONE ON THE STREET WAS GARBED IN NAZI MILITARY UNIFORM. I FELT VERY
THREATENED. I RAN INTO THE ALLEY BEHIND THE PARKING LOT AND HID BEHIND A
PINE TREE. THE ANXIETY SOON EBBED, BUT THE THIRST AND NEED TO URINATE
RETURNED. I KNEW I NEEDED A COMFORT ZONE, A PLACE I COULD RELAX IN. A
FRIEND LIVED NEARBY. I WALKED TO HIS APARTMENT COMPLEX AND STOOD IN
FRONT OF THE STAIRWELL. THE SAME CRIMSON BLOOD FROM THE MCDONALD‘S
WAS CASCADING DOWN THE STEPS. IT BEGAN TO RISE OVER MY SHOES, UP MY
LEGS. A HEAVY SENSE OF VERTIGO CAME OVER ME. THERE‘S A MEMORY GAP
BETWEEN THE STAIRS AND MY FRIENDS APARTMENT, BUT I ENDED UP ON HIS
COUCH WATCHING DOLPHINS DIVE THROUGH THE WALL IN A SEAMLESS LOOP.
DURING MY TIME THERE, I EXPERIENCED THE TYPICAL NONEXISTENT CIGARETTE
SEARCH AND THE DISAPPEARING PERSON PUZZLE. I VISITED THE BATHROOM
MANY TIMES, BUT ELIMINATED VERY LITTLE. THE SENSE OF DEHY DRATION WAS
UNBEARABLE! THERE WAS NO COMFORT. I DIDN‘T RECOGNIZE THE PEOPLE IN THE
ROOM. I ASKED THE PERSON CLOSEST TO ME WHERE BILL WAS. ''BILL'S NOT HERE''
,WAS THE RETURN. I CLOSED MY EYES TO ESCAPE THE GROWING SENSE OF
PANIC. BUT WHEN MY EYELIDS SHUT, ALL I SAW WAS A NEW ROOM WITH NEW
PEOPLE. WHERE WAS I? I TRIED TO REOPEN MY EYES, BUT IT ONLY REVEALED
ANOTHER ROOM WITH YET MORE STRANGERS. THIS WENT ON AND ON. I DIDN'T
KNOW IF MY EYES WERE OPEN OR SHUT. I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS, WHAT TIME
IT WAS OR WHAT WAS HAPPENING. MY PANIC TURNED INTO SENSORY COLLAPSE.
EVERY THING BLED TOGETHER AND I FELT A DEEP SPIRALING SENSATION ENGULF
ME. I LOST ALL VISUAL CAPABILITIES, BUT I STILL HAD A VERY REAL SENSE OF
TOUCH. I WAS TRAPPED IN A SMALL METALIC BOX. IT MADE PERFECT SENSE TO
ME. I WAS DEAD. THIS WAS HELL. THERE WERE NO DEMONS, NO HELLFIRE OR
BRIMSTONE, JUST A DEEP, COMPLETE FEELING OF DARKNESS AND
HOPELESSNESS. IF THE EXECUTION FAILS TO LIVE UP TO THE PROMISE, IT’S HARD
NOT TO ADMIRE THE AMBITION TO AT LEAST CREATE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 6 37
WAS THE NEVERENDING VOID. NOT AT ALL HOW I HAD IMAGINED IT, BUT WORSE
THAN I THOUGHT THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN. I'VE HAD FEELINGS OF INFINITE
EMOTION ON ACID TRIPS AND SENSATIONS OF UNIVERSAL TRUTH IN KHOLES, BUT
THIS WAS THE MOST PROFOUND REALITY I HAD EVER EXPERIENCED. MY WHOLE
EXISTENCE WAS PUT INTO PERSPECTIVE, AND I WAS BEING PUNISHED FOR
WASTING THE GIFT OF LIFE. I BLACKED OUT AT SOME POINT IN THE BOX. DARK AND
HOPELESS HELL BY: TEK22 DOSE: 1 ORAL BODYWEIGHT: 170 LB EXP.YEAR: 1998
AGE: 18 GENDER: MALE
(Antoine Renard, Oh Rats! It's Deceiving!BDP 2013)
ORGANIZED BY CLEMENCE DE LA TOUR DU PIN - ANTOINE RENARD - ANNA FROST
EXHIBITION ASSISTANCE JULIANJACOB KNEER
Paul Barsch, Ivana Basic, Gregoire Blunt, Clemence De La Tour Du Pin, Anne Fellner, Naomi Fischer, Dorota Gaweda, Hannah Heilman, Mirak Jamal,
Ilja Karilampi, Sandra Vaka Olsen, Santiago Tacetti, Shaun Motsi, Antoine Renard, Anthony Salvador, Yves Scherer, Edward Shenk, Emmy Skensved,
Tore Wallert, Anna Frost, Center, Berlin
http://www.center-berlin.info